wet grass and a phobia of lightning

I'm beginning to see why ancient man worshipped the sky and didn't shave.
Ignorance is fucking bliss.

Why hug a tree when you can pee on it and claim free land.

I'm counteracting the whole green movement with my own little vendetta.

It's so easy a caveman can do it.

Fog and Cigarettes

http://i.imgur.com/N8NSx.jpgProtein shakes and gas station sandwiches fill my shrinking stomache. It's too damn late to eat real food.

bobby darin and orange juice

The Road to Weirdness

"I am painfully situated, my position is a very strange--a very strange one. It is one of those affairs that cannot be mended by talking."- Robert Louis Stevenson, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

There are days when I just really don't know...

...and then there are days I don't want to know.

Sweet psychosis

Mouyhwatering  bloody remnants of meat

Chains of Self

Damn the wicked chains that bind me to this place
The iron coiled viciously around my throat
I loathe the crooked hand that holds them dragging me forward like a dog
The same white-knuckled cage of fingers that steers this sinking boat
Damn the eyes that always seem to find me
No matter which dark corner I find myself hiding in alone
My defiant mouth sewn shut so I can only hiss a cold surrender
Though my broken hands will claw these chains until worn down to bone
Damn everything that seems to remind me
These chains are getting heavier every day I fight
I can taste the yellowed stench of death slithering up to. kiss me in my sleep
It will only be by my own hand if I'm to die tonight
Damn everything that I have left behind me
The sun will rise up again from the vengeful sea that blasts my tiny ship with foam
Those horrid chains that anchored me have rusted into memories
I can at last raise my sail and chart a course with no direction home

Papercuts and Dehydration

I apparently have someone viewing my blog from the UK.  I know this thanks to site tracker.

Welcome from across the pond.

Please let me know if you've eaten at st.  Johns owned by fergus henderson.

Punk in Drublic

I think I'm hooked on poulsbohemian coffee. I tried to get my fix with some watery gas station brew, but no luck.

I had a dream about haggis oatmeal cookies.

On the Rocks

Broken glass has a tendency to blend in with ice chips.

Foie Gone?

California plans to ban the sale and raising of geese for foie by 2012.

Foie was first eaten by the Egyptians 4500 years ago.

The Mayan calendar was right, the end of the world will be 2012.

What's next California? Are you going to ban charcuterie?

Sturgeon Face Extinction

Since the fall of the Soviet Union, the Beluga Sturgeon have been poached nearly to extinction.

God damn amateurs.... you can't poach fish more than a few minutes.

Mmmmm...... poached Sturgeon

Currency of the Current

The book 1984 now seems like a big joke that no one quite understood.

Our economy was destined to crash since we ran out of gold to back every dollar.

The us dollar is at a low while gold is skyrocketing.

The US treasury is the equivalent of a piggy bank full of IOU's

It's only as stable as the person holding the real currency.

Printing up new money, or IOU's just bankrupts our government even further.

There's no more new gold going into the national reserves.


Time to put your head between your knees and stimulus your asses goodbye.

Prometheus Unbound

Television was handed down to humanity by the gods. Just as prometheus handed down the gift of fire and medicine.

This angered Zeus, for he had created television as his only means to distillate all humanity had to offer into one viewable image. He had no other means to be all seeing and all knowing.

Prometheus knew this would give humanity a mirror into their own souls. A concentrated form of everything wrong with the world of man.

Instead of seeing ourselves as vastly in need of improvement, the television took the place of human relationships.

Why should man stumble out of his dwelling when the whole broken world is right in his home.

The television was meant to reflect all of our imperfections the way no mirror could. The intention was lost on humanity and this made prometheus very disturbed.

He loved mankind and did not want them to be vermin scrambling around in the dark for their next hoard of food. For this was how the other gods saw mankind.

Prometheus was condemned to an eternity of being bound to a desolate rock, and humanity never figured out the true meaning of the television.

Clusterflux

Well its nearly ten pm here, light drizzle of rain, pleasantly warm evening air, and the sound of automatic rifle fire in the distance.

I thought I was going to come outside for a nice smoke, but instead I have to hear some idiot firing a fully automatic rifle not far from my house.

I wonder what he killed.

Stare Into the Sun

I haven't been sleeping much. I've been thinking about hopping a train to see the rest of the country.

Sleep is for the dead.

How much caffeine is fatal? I'll soon find out.

Sun Tzu - The Art of War

Restaurant cooking is nothing like home.

Every morning shines on another battlefield bloodthirsty.
White jackets as obscene as shields painted before war.
Blood and dirt and vegetation smears.
Sharpening your finest blade, gently following every grain in steel, soft handwashed caress on implement of slice and hack and butchery.

Fibers of tendons sinewy raw and ready.
Orders hang like scalps.

No burn nor slice nor broken thumb can make you flinch.

Reflex takes over and limbs slip into the paths of least resistance. The glide and toss, the internal timers running in parallel.


Waitress bolt from patron to patron counting coup.

Enemy Self - Cult of the Addiction Battery

Cherry blossoms look like snow falling

Old men circling the parking lot like carrion eaters

Eyes shifting side to side scanning for an opportunity

Middle aged man beckons to wife as he does his godzilla shuffle through wet grass, the park monument statue ahead, some memorandum of founding whoever

Some bronze norse explorer, wearing tunic, looks like an old man with cane in an oversized t-shirt.

Someone gender unknown drives by in a green car

We've lost the concept of survival of the fittest. I'd bet money Darwin was not in favor of universal healthcare.

Christmas trees smell more like furniture than Christmas.

All Shook Up

Goin on an adventure In the mornin

Listening to chuck berry, Elvis, jerry lee Lewis and little richard tonight.

There's nothing like hot coffee and the sweet hum of rubber against the open road to set my morning right.

I smoke stogies I have found, short but not too big around, I'm a man of means by no means king of the road.

Little Boxes Made of Ticky Tacky

My day off is turning out to be strange

One Ring To Rule Them All

I used to play a bar game loosely based on lord of the rings. Ok maybe not at all based on the movie.

The game is to collect girls phone numbers and the winner gets his bar tab covered for the night. The catch is that every sentence has to end with "my precious"

I suppose alcohol was to blame for the logic in the game.

Ive decided ill give it a shot solo and see how long it takes until I get beat up in a wet parking lot by a creeped out boyfriend of one of the poor girls.

Wish me luck.

Saturday Night Special

The weekend is looming on the horizon like some carnivorous storm stealthily stalking its prey.
This one in particular should be quite good.

I might either get murdered in some horrid animalistic fashion or I could opt to reschedule my date for a trip to a restaurant that I have not visited as of yet, and feast upon ox tail stew and goat.

Easy choice I suppose.

What wicked choice to only satisfy one curiosity. Life is difficult.

Common sense is that feeling you get that the world is flat.

Ghosts of Gypsies Past

The Gypsy Apple is owned by my friend Michaelangelo.
His menu is brief yet substantially fulfilling to all tastes, and changes quarterly.

His place is still an inspiration to me, and I remember like it was yesterday sitting on the stoop in front of his restaurant smoking hand rolled cigarrettes while he puffed a cigar and talking of food.

If youre ever in shelburne falls please swing by and eat everything on the menu.

Bring friends and be gluttonous.

Snap Crackle and Pop

My favorite insect is the golden ant.

The flavor and texture is like cajun peanut butter filled rice crispies.
Melt in your mouth good.

They are fabulous au natrale, but if you must cook them, please do so with care.
They go well with chev and crackers, or you can toss then into sesame oil with onion and a bit of sofrito and drizzle over rice.

If your having trouble getting your children to eat all of their insects at dinner, you could warm up some marshmellow fluff and butter to blend with a full hive of golden ants for a tasty after dinner treat.

So next time your Jonesing for drones, no need to panic, go crack open a hive or nest. There's plenty to go around. Ants outnumber humans 200,000,000 to 1.

Opossum, Morsels of Marsupial

Millions of opossum are shipped every year to new Zealand and Australia for the delicious petfood known as "Posyum"

Dark rich and oily meat of the opossum was prized by native Americans and early settlers according to the companies website.

Have I been missing out?

Perhaps a night venture out to the ol' possum tree is in order. I shall flush out natures candy from its hole in a rotted tree stump and bag my goodies while its playing dead.

I'll be having possum fritters with honey before you can say "WTF"

Oh I should warn all you potential possum converts that the marsupial can open its jaw 180 degrees. That's one hell of a grin.

Possums also make great pets, as long as you don't have small children, small dogs, neighbors or a social life.

I've got a great recipe for possum.

Take one whole possum, skinned and gutted, fill body cavity with onions leeks and butter, then roll tightly with butcher twine and wrap in foil and place in 350 degree oven.
After 3 hours carefully slice open foil, remove possum and throw it in the trash, then eat the tin foil.

Bon Appetite

Coffee and Cigarettes

Breakfast of champions.

Grey skies again in the pacific northwest.

I have an aspiration to convert an airstream trailer into a mobile restaurant and make fresh sourdough baguettes and charcuterie.

This wanderlust in me is having a knife fight with my patience. I'm tempted to buy a train ticket to somewhere distant and not bother to book a hotel. I could taste every restaurant possible until I'm pregnant with indigestion. Then I will have a nice slumber on the train ride home. Or ill die in some dark alley with my torso shredded like a fetal alien had burst free. Either way it will be a good trip.

Happiness is a warm monkfish.

time travellers last stand

Summer snowstorm blinding me
My eyes have turned to grey
No one stands a chance of finding me
Though my feet still know the way
I've lived for you I've died for me
My lips have nothing left to say
I've wandered through and endless storm
And blown all my thoughts away
I've tasted snow as bitter as my love
but its all sweet today
So close your eyes and follow me
My feet still know the way

Time Travel and the Pointlessness of Sleep

I tend to sleep in 2 hour shifts. Not quite long enough to dream.

The lucid half slumberesque thoughts that permeate my cortex tend to be of food, the restaurant buzz and clang and murmur of distant hungry patrons. I am usually in a dark dimly lit bistro creating some blisteringly bizarre new dish while I'm half dreaming.

Duck confit ravioli in a soft buttery sweet young pumpkin sauce. Just a whisper of coriander to blend the sweet with salty and to smooth out the fat. Served with a salad of paper thin julianned beets and shallots with a sesame oil and rice wine vinnagrette. Desert is a pink grapefruit curd served in wedged candied rinds of the fruit.

I loathe the nightmare of awakening far from that place.

key lime pie and beer on the beach

I have never had George Killians Irish Red Lager until today. How did I live without tasting this killer beer.

The sweet smell of brown sugar but a bitter flavor of hops. It's a nice balance between Blue Moon and Guinness.

Perfect accompaniment to homemade key lime pie and finished with a camel cigarrette.

Punk Rock and the Zen of Pork

If youve ever considered tattooing a butcher diagram of a pig on your body then maybe you understand my delicious lust after buttery rinds of fat and glistening sausages from the gorgeous porcine.


Oh sweet hog, how I love thee.